Well, it's been 3 years so I guess it's time for a new post! I have thought about writing so many times but always when I'm in the middle of something ...so my brain moves on and forgets by the time I have a chance to sit down.
Not this time, though! I didn't like that my last post was fairly negative. I have a constant dilemma (in writing and IRL talking with anyone I come in contact with) - be a positive, upbeat person and still be honest about the diseases I battle every day. Yes, people need to be aware of this awful illness, but I want to write about the positives, too. This time, I want to share something GOOD.
In November 2020 I went back to work. I was terrified. After being a stay-at-home mom for 6.5 years my brain felt like mush. I went from working on the alphabet and counting with my then 3 year old, to handling the budget for an elementary school (with a list of other responsibilities). Not to mention someone with an autoimmune disease going to work in a school during a pandemic. What was I thinking?! When you get asked to apply for something (good sign #1) at a school you LOVE because that's where your child goes (good signs #2 & #3) that's 2 minutes from your home (c'mon!) how can you say no?!
Turns out it was a GREAT decision. I have met so many wonderful people, I truly love my job & and the amazing office team I'm blessed to be part of, and it has helped me be better. If you look at my lab work, I don't think much has changed. Right now I might even be in the beginning of a flare - if that's because I'm on summer break, we'll never know. However, I'm using more of my brain which has helped my overall mental health. I like feeling useful at work and having another purpose other than "deliverer of snacks" for my kids. My kids see me working hard everyday inside AND outside the home (with maybe a little rest time after work before starting dishes & dinner - waking up at 5:00 AM every day is exhausting!). I like (most days) that I push myself through the pain to give 100% every single day. I have a sign in my office for motivation - "Start each day with a grateful heart". Not a day goes by that I don't recognize how lucky I am to still be here, to have this amazing life, and to still be on my feet.
Hope you find something to feel good about - a great day, an amazing partner/friend by your side, family. Have a wonderful day. Hoping we can all find some good things even on dark, tough days.
Are you struggling right now? Do you need to talk to someone who gets it? Leave a comment. You are not alone.
